i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
