well I can't set my house on fire every night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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