You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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