bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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