it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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