So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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