haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
