i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
