scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
