so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
