A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
