You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
