uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
