Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize