he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Welp...herpes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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