Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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