put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
