Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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