Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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