Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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