you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i now understand why vodka
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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