My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You made out with two different species that night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
