He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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