You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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