how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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