Cold hands, warm shart.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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