He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
