She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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