the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
