is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
