I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
