i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
