apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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