I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
