That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
