New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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