im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
