if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
