Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
