1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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