Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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