O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
