The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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