Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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