You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
