If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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