I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
