His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
