i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
