Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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