Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
