somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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