its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
