Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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