GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
