Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
