How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
