Your dad touched me again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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