I want to walk on stilts...naked
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
