it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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