I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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